Tribute from Priya Mathur

Dose, dose, dose ... it's been a few weeks now and I still think of you every single day. I look at the picture of you in my apartment, every day and yet I see your grin, I hear your laughter and the reproachful way in which you'd say "Math-oo-r". Memories of you have just etched themselves into my sight and I can't blink without missing you - without knowing that somewhere in some way you are drumming up a hilarious running commentary of my life - saying things like "Math-oo-r, I can't believe you did that! Math-oo-r, you did not just ..., Math-oo-r, come here - give me a hug!" It's harder than I thought and while every day does in fact get easier, I can't let go of how much I continue to learn from you every day. I see pictures of you and I read emails about you and I talk about you to friends and I start this internal monologue asking myself why I don't do more of what you've done.

I blow you a kiss every day on my way to work and as I enter my apartment at the end of the day. I think of my fondest memory of my brother in law picking you up at my engagement party! I remember dancing with you to a song from Phir Hera Pheri - I think it was Pyar Ki Chatni! I remember the last thing you said to me was that Kaushik is a great guy - and that I should hang on to this one! I remember promising you we'd make it down to Charlotte. I feel you listening and I see your mischievous grin reminding me not to take everything so seriously. It makes me want to re-evaluate things and really consider where I am and what I want to do. What is the most important thing in the world to me? You make me want to travel, to make the people important and not the things or the places. You make me want to change and I haven't thought about doing that in a long time. And I want to take you with me. I want to share every experience, every joy with you and to the best of my abilities make your proud of me. I want to make what is important to you, important to me. And while I hear myself using the word "I" a lot, it's important you note that everything I do from this point on, that makes me or those around me happy - I will attribute to you and the wisdom you shared and continue to share with all of us. You make me proud every day and you make me laugh in every way. And I am so fortunate to have been with you through 2 substantial phases of your luminescent life. All I ask is that you guide me in my way and continue to hold my hand - like you did for so long.

And I will wait till we meet again - because I believe that an energy like yours carries on. I know I will recognize you the minute we meet. I wish you love and peace and will look forward to the time our paths cross again.

Til then - love you Dose.