Neeraj Says...

This is what Neeraj wrote in Friendster in the 'About Me' section:

ABOUT ME:
I like Ben and Jerry's Cherry Garcia (even tho they are bloody owned by Unilever now!). I talk a lot and some of it can be informative - at times. I believe that love is a demented but ineffably essential creature. Acknowledging that life is the greatest journey; as are the ones that I take inside my head. I believe that women should not have moustaches. Intelligence is sexy. Death inevitable. There will always be someone that pisses the shit outta you. God and science are, as you read this, heading towards each other in an impossible game of "chicken" where the center takes forever to reach. I am rationally hot tempered i.e. stupidity pisses me off! If you want to know more, message me - its easier than milking a cow and a lot more fun (well compared to if you were milking it the normal way).

WHO I WANT TO MEET:
Someone that knows the difference between India and the Middle East (and Africa for that matter!). Has some semblance of an opinion and is not afraid to voice it. Rockstars and existential philosophers, llama jockeys and neural astronauts, pregnant belly dancers and russian circus monkeys...I am a pretty outgoing person and enjoy meeting a wide variety of people so if you are not completely scandalized or revolted by what I wrote in the "About Me" section, we would probably get along. Cheers!!

Neeraj's Presence by Maya Desai

As a baby with eyes bright and a mind curious
Today he is a man with a distinctive genius.
Monkey business always suspected with him around,
Until later we stand by each other to make it all sound.

Knowledge he proudly shares with few fibs integrated
Everyone is driven soon to a vision more liberated.
Old and wise to the babies who dont speak
He connects to all, from strong to the meek.
Mischief and humor embedded in his style
Stacks of happiness he always does pile.
He laughs to lighten my mood when I cry
Brings a smile to my face, nudging oh my!
He probes for issues with a smirk until a shout I lay
Only to simplify matters and make the fret flee away
Sadhana'foi', you should date he says each time
With a biodata provided and listing each pick up line.
I hear you say those lines today and your loud guffaw,
I feel your nudge on my back to gain my attention now.
I told you and repeat myself again and every moment and day:
A brother and a friend you always play to perfection
You give immense and gain colossal amounts of affection
Your essence we feel stronger as the days go by
Spread from green meadows to the wide open sky.

Love you
Sadhanafoi, Maya, and Mamta

Tribute from Priya Mathur

Dose, dose, dose ... it's been a few weeks now and I still think of you every single day. I look at the picture of you in my apartment, every day and yet I see your grin, I hear your laughter and the reproachful way in which you'd say "Math-oo-r". Memories of you have just etched themselves into my sight and I can't blink without missing you - without knowing that somewhere in some way you are drumming up a hilarious running commentary of my life - saying things like "Math-oo-r, I can't believe you did that! Math-oo-r, you did not just ..., Math-oo-r, come here - give me a hug!" It's harder than I thought and while every day does in fact get easier, I can't let go of how much I continue to learn from you every day. I see pictures of you and I read emails about you and I talk about you to friends and I start this internal monologue asking myself why I don't do more of what you've done.

I blow you a kiss every day on my way to work and as I enter my apartment at the end of the day. I think of my fondest memory of my brother in law picking you up at my engagement party! I remember dancing with you to a song from Phir Hera Pheri - I think it was Pyar Ki Chatni! I remember the last thing you said to me was that Kaushik is a great guy - and that I should hang on to this one! I remember promising you we'd make it down to Charlotte. I feel you listening and I see your mischievous grin reminding me not to take everything so seriously. It makes me want to re-evaluate things and really consider where I am and what I want to do. What is the most important thing in the world to me? You make me want to travel, to make the people important and not the things or the places. You make me want to change and I haven't thought about doing that in a long time. And I want to take you with me. I want to share every experience, every joy with you and to the best of my abilities make your proud of me. I want to make what is important to you, important to me. And while I hear myself using the word "I" a lot, it's important you note that everything I do from this point on, that makes me or those around me happy - I will attribute to you and the wisdom you shared and continue to share with all of us. You make me proud every day and you make me laugh in every way. And I am so fortunate to have been with you through 2 substantial phases of your luminescent life. All I ask is that you guide me in my way and continue to hold my hand - like you did for so long.

And I will wait till we meet again - because I believe that an energy like yours carries on. I know I will recognize you the minute we meet. I wish you love and peace and will look forward to the time our paths cross again.

Til then - love you Dose.

Celebration of Neeraj

Thought will keep u folks in on y'day's gathering...

The celebration was a blast! So many of his friends turned up and they all had funny crazy stories of Neeraj. We all laughed a lot and cried a little! June Blotnik from Carolina Clean Air Coalition who had organised the event said that Neeraj is with us today as the day was very beautiful, she spotted a red squirrel (which is rare in this part) and a pretty butterfly came and sat on the food table for a while. Nikola's presence was the highlight of the evening - she walked (aided by a walker ) all the way from the parking lot to the venue to join her crazy husband's celebration....must applaud the strong girl...and the guys from Namaste India restaurant sent so much food for everyone.... also it was so heartening to see that he was a true Global Citizen - the gathering had folks from so many different cultures and nationalities.

And he was toasted anywhere and everywhere - at my uncle's home in B'ham, UK, my sister in Calif. threw a barbeque party, at my village Salej in Gujarat, they drank butter milk (dry compulsions!) and I know u folks must hv. said cheers to him...Priya had promised me she will.....it was his day and we slept good....

I am attaching his photograph to which his best friend Kim Vu, a wonderful girl, toasted to the free spirit of my baby....mark the word 'volunteer' on his T shirt! This was shot in June 2003 at the bank of river Rhone by my cousin Aarti who lives in S. France.

I take this opportunity to thank June Blotnick, Crista Wagner and all the wonderful folks who came and shared beautiful memories of Neeraj.

Warm Regards,
Bhasker

Tribute from Ramanmasaji Desai

With this photograph, Neeraj has left us memories of when he and his father Bhasker Desai, attended Hemanshu & Kala's wedding. On this occasion, Neeraj as usual mingled with all the guests and ensured that everyone he spoke to was having a good time.

Dear Neeraj, you touched all of our lives and when we think of you, our hearts fill with emense pride that you are part of our family.

Love Ramanmasaji, Kusummasi, Hemanshu, Kala, Vimal, Raxa, Ashok, Gira, Yogini, Rohit & Moushami.

Mr Cool's photo my cousin Aarti clicked agst. the backdrop of Mt. Blanc - this was July 2003
-Bhasker

Tribute from Mirzeta Hadzikadic (Friend from BOA)

When I think of Neeraj, so many warm thoughts come to my mind. What a friendly teammate he was! He was first one to welcome me to the GDC family. He made me quit eating lunches at my desktop and join him and other friends in the lounge room, filling my lunch break with fun and laughter. He knew a lot about the region I came from and we had great conversations about people he new from that region, different customs and culture. We even talked about Non-alignment movement and its past leaders Indira Gandhi and Tito. Every conversation you had with Neeraj, you learned something. He has left imprints on all of us at the GDC and we will cherish them forever. May peace be with him!

Memorial Photo and Video

Eulogy by Kinnery Naik (Cousin)

When I think of Neeraj I can't help but smile, actually, oftentimes I even find myself chuckling. He was just that type of person, the contagious type that you couldn't shake off. You engage in a conversation with him once and you're hooked. Whether you were impressed by his intelligence or his broad range of interests or if it's because he made you laugh at his silliness or because you had a friendly argument with him and he just wouldn't let you have the last word. Arguing with Neeraj was like trying to climbing a mountain, you think you're almost there, it's almost over, and then he comes up something and you wonder where he came up with it!

He could talk about art, politics, the environment, biology, economics, and the list goes on and on. He could feel at home with the people in his village in India, the folks in Mumbai, and his friends and family in the US, a 5 year old, or an 80 year old. He was a social chameleon, and an eloquent one at that. But the thing about Neeraj was that he made everyone feel so special, like they had all his attention, people became addicted to him. The love and energy radiated around him. In the past two days, I can't tell you how many strangers I have met that said "I was very close to Neeraj" I know they're telling the truth because Neeraj had created an immense family around him and held all of them very close to his heart. He called me his sister, not just his cousin, and that meant the world to me. In the same way, I'm sure there was something that Neeraj did for almost every one of you that made you stop and think, "wow, I wish I could have that effect on people." The number of people that have been giving so selflessly over the last few days is a true reflection of how wonderful it was to have known Neeraj, my dear little brother.

At the age of 24 Neeraj had accomplished so much, a retired man would be jealous. His own home, a successful career, an amazing wife, and incredible involvement in his community. Nikola and Neeraj were so lucky to have found each other. I remember the 1st I met Nikola, I called Neeraj up and told him that I thought he was done searching, she was the one I wanted. On top of that he was the favorite of our family, the jokester who could make anyone laugh. At his young age, he had already made his mark in the world and I know that there was so much more to come. Neeraj's life was always in fast-forward, at the age of 5 he impressed his uncle by acting as a savvy tour guide in Mumbai, a city that even residents can't handle with the swift confidence that he was able to. Don't get me wrong, he was a terror as a child, but a fun one. I'm sure there were times mama and mami wanted to pull their hair out but in the end he was perfect. Leaving only good memories behind.

He definitely was one of a kind. There were some things he did that just made you wonder. He once used my towels and didn't approve and all of a sudden I found my towels soaking in boiling salt water. He said I had problematic towels and he was fixing them. Or the time I found all my pillows in the dryer, didn't even ask. All the times he asked if his chest looked good in this shirt. Then there was his expensive bottle of salt water spray that gave him the beach hair look. If any of you went into his bathroom, and saw his counter then you know where I'm going with this. He liked to take care of himself in the same way to took care of those around him. He was the only GQ model/environmentalist//party animal/banker I have ever known. A truly multi-faceted person. He loved his life and he lived it to the fullest. We can all learn something from him. He himself said death was inevitable and that is how he lived it. If you can hear me Neeraj, I want you to know that I'm upset with you for leaving us this soon, but I love you so much, and I will never forget all of our memories. You have left imprints on everyone you met and we will all cherish them forever. Thank you for letting me be your sister and so close to you.

Tribute from Subodh, Hema & Nilan Naik (Family Friends)

We remember Neeraj by his smile. He always had that smile on his face – that mischievous smile. You knew he was always thinking & up to something.

Neeraj was full of life & what you saw was what you got – an honest, straightforward, smart caring person who not only talked the talk but walked it too !!! He was joy to be with and his enthusiasm was contagious He was quick witted and very well read & had a great sense of humor, sometimes it really was wicked.

I believe the July 2, 2006 photo of him enjoying a glass of merlot captures him the way he was - a carefree soul.

We are going to miss you Neeraj, you have touched us and have carved out a place in our hearts. It was certainly a privilege to get to know you and your parents Bhasker & Nina did a fine job raising you & Yes – that smile has been etched forever in our minds.

May Your Soul Rest In Peace.

Subodh, Hema & Nilan Naik
Dallas, Texas

Poem from Abhishek Mehta (Friend from Bank of America)

Kucch Hote hain jo jeewan main… swayam disha ban jaate hain
There are some in life that don’t just lead the journey…but blaze a trail others can follow

Har kadam pay ban kar jyoti punj…jeene kee raah dikhate hain
And by lighting up every single step along the way.. help guide others down the path of life

Amitt chhap un yaadon kee….maanas patal par hain ankit
Jab jab neeraj kee yaad jaage…aankhon se chalak woh jaate hain
Those memories are forever embossed in our hearts…and find there way through the eyes as we celebrate a life well lived

Tribute from Shibi Mahal (Classmate)

Man, the first semester at Kodai, Neeraj and I were in the same dorm [Penryn]. He was always in a good mood and having fun, I enjoyed his company. He was too young to leave us...

Tribute from Velan Mudaliar (Classmate)

Back in Kodai, Neeraj was full of energy and had a quick-witted remark in store for any given situation. He really did go out of his way to get to know people.

I never got to see him after leaving over 8 years ago but from what I heard and have been hearing over the devastatingly sad past week, he matured during his college years and time as "a cog in the wheel" (as he put it himself) for Bank of America.

He was a closer friend to some more than others but I'm willing to bet that almost every class of '99 alumnus has more than just a few memories of interacting with him one on one. It is those memories that unite us now as we reminisce and simultaneously try to face the uncertain future that is yet to be!

As it has been made clearly by almost everyone who has posted over the past few days, we stand with Nicola and Neeraj's parents during this extremely sad ordeal for them!

Nothing that we say or do can bring him back at this point but we can remember and stand united while doing so!

Take care Neeraj and may God bless all of you!

--Velan

Tribute from Yuna Kim (Classmate)

When I first joined Kodai in 10th grade I was a little intimidated and nervous about adjusting to the new environment. Wasn't sure what the place was going to be like and how I would make friends with anyone. One day I was hanging out at the covered courts and this guy comes all enraged and starts complaining to his friends that "those damn Koreans hog up the basketball court all the time!!!" (or somewhere along the lines of that - you get the picture). So I made a mental note that he either 1) is angry about life in general or 2) is not very fond of Koreans so perhaps I need to avoid him for the rest of the school year.

A couple days later I couldn't find a classroom and was walking around the quad when that same guy (the guy I was suppose to avoid!) comes along and offers to walk me to class. Yes, that guy was Neeraj! Neeraj showed me where I had to go, asked me how I was adjusting and assured me that I would like Kodai. He was so nice and sweet. I still remember telling Daniella (who was my roomie) that night that there is someone in our class who has a very nice smile.

Yes, Neeraj was funny and yes, Neeraj was loud, but I think he was being extra funny and extra loud just to keep his sweetness in perspective. He tried to fool us, but I guess none of us were really fooled.

Testimonial from Sarita Mathur (Priya's Mom)

For Neeraj...

A Child who I never gave birth to, yet he was a son to me because he was my daughter's brother. Was known to be the life of the Party, God I pray to u to give strength to his Parents, his wife and all the people whose lives he touched in some manner or the other in his own sensitive way. May God be with him and take him in his fold. Bless him and everyone that is connected to him. Amen!

Testimonial from Ruchi Goel (Friend)

I met Neeraj at Priya's engagement. He was a funny person to say the least. Wherever he would go, he would bring a smile on everyone's face. He was the life of Priya's engagement party.

All I can say is he will be missed. God Bless his soul!

Testimonial from Salil Mehta (Friend)

Neeraj has always enlightened me and added rays of brightness to my life, since the early days when we met. We had so much in common, and while he was younger than me, I always felt that he would grow to be a remarkable individual and a good friend. He used to live down the hall from me in the open-air hallway settings of Gateway. I could always rely on him to be awake and bounce into my apartment at 3AM to help me finish off dinner and listen to the latest music. He impressed on me a sense of fashion and style and worldliness that only comes from an intelligent upbringing.

While we moved apart physically, many years ago, I have had the chance to see and hear from Neeraj periodically and have always stayed in touch. A moment with Neeraj was guaranteed to include some sort of snickering and story telling (which you may or may not want to hear) and sometimes "that look" of a 70s cop on a motorcycle, with those really, really large sunglasses. I will always miss Neeraj, and I am truly sad and shocked about what happened.

Testimonial from Rajni George (Classmate)

When I think of Neeraj, I remember his sense of humor (those cyber jokes!), his astounding knowledge of all kinds of trivia including the real name of certain Baywatch lifeguards, his endearing self-deprecation, his admirable and consistent efforts towards self-improvement and expanding his mind; reading the naughty bits in Femina of all things in the library with him and Saika, his efforts to entertain us in class with the easy camaraderie he cultivated with our teachers – when he playfully repeated requests to use the restroom during Tamil class I remember Mr. Adhimulam once told him to ‘tie a rope, my boy’ (we can only imagine what Neeraj did with that suggestion!) . The stories we're all telling remind us how he touched so many lives with his caring ways – he really was a softie, as much as he sometimes liked to pretend otherwise. His wisecracks indeed covered his vulnerability and a great sensitivity to the feelings of the people around him.

Those of you who did get to spend time with Neeraj recently testify to his continued exuberance, one tempered by knowledge and the kind of maturity experience gave him. Like many of our classmates, Neeraj seems to have grown into himself over these post high school years – becoming a person I wish I had made more of an effort to keep in touch with and get to know. Its truly wonderful the way everyone has rallied around Neeraj, our memories of him. This last year he had the chance to spend time with so many of you at your weddings and reunions and I think this is so important. I’ve only recently started getting in touch with some of our classmates and I think the fact that so many of us have been doing so is an important lesson to all of us; that it’s worth the effort to keep in touch with people you sometimes think you have outgrown but of course never can or will.

When I told my mother of Neeraj’s passing, she remembered him fondly, having watched him grow up in Kodai and having read his poetry – among his many interests and talents - at our school’s writing workshop. She said, “sometimes I think it would be nice to know how much time you have left, so you can make the most of it.” I agree with her and with all of you when we lament the unfairness of it all, but would like to think that Neeraj is one of the few people who can say that they DID make the most of the time allotted to him – though of course we all fervently wish this time had been longer, because Neeraj Desai was definitely going places.

Perhaps we can learn from the greats when we consider what to make of his passing. Sartre said of Camus' death, also a traffic accident: “Every life that is cut off - even the life of so young a man - is at one and the same time a phonograph record that is broken and a complete life. For all those who loved him, there is an unbearable absurdity in that death. But we shall have to learn to see that mutilated work as a total work.”

Neeraj might laugh if he could hear me comparing him to Camus but I think it’s a relevant comparison. He was someone who, in the manner of many a great thinker, thought long and hard about the world we live in and the nature of this life - and in spite of it all, he was unafraid to live it. Goodbye Neeraj, and godspeed.